AUTUMN

Posted on Sep 21, 2015 in Blog, homepage | 0 comments

AUTUMN

This is a turning time. The world is turning again and as autumn begins to curl around us, the leaves dim their lights and it’s time for our jackets and scarves and fingerless gloves to come out of hiding once more.
It is a turning time, an evaluation time. Am I where I want to be, do I feel as I want to feel, am I being as kind to myself as I can, is this the life I chose? Or do I need to sign up at the local gym, the trapeze class, to a different version of my life?
We may make our resolutions as the New Year arrives, but somehow for many of us it is still September, start of the school year, that holds a sense of new, grown up beginnings. A sense of standing up tall and stepping up to our potential. The circus of summer has left town and we are left to chop wood and carry water with a quiet strength and focus.
As the season shifts, however, like the magic lands at the top of the faraway tree, there can be stumbles as our foundation moves and we are once again in flux. Time to take a breath, and hold steady as the air changes, the leaves change, the light fades. This turn is inevitably inwards – the sun no longer calls us out, the darker mornings and nights make home ever cosier and more enticing and we begin to question whether that journey across town is really worth it when we can stay in with crumpets and tea and 6 Music instead.
So it is also a settling time. Autumn has a weightiness, and earthiness, that summer cannot match. The earth is so very beautiful in these last moments of light and bloom, where the shiny edge of newness has gone but withering has not yet taken hold… just a trace of the ghost of endings flitting through the air. Autumn. Soon we will be right in it, and the air will be so crisp it snaps and the leaves will crackle underfoot and the smell of smoke will rise in the air as we huddle deeper into our coats and find ourselves drawn to the colours of pumpkin and logs and mulled wine, and warmth is cherished like a beloved. In a moment, the heating will go on. Another moment, the first bath of the season. We will fill the bird feeders and stop watering the gardens and the cat will stay in at night times.
Head cocked to the wind, slowing down, buttoning up. And yet my heart grows softer as the bright gloss of summer gives way to the earthy roots of autumn, less shiny yes but older, more knowing – another turn of the dial of experience and here we grow wise, at last.
I love autumn. And I love that the seasons apply just as much to us as they do to the oaks and the flowers and the sun. In the damp leaves, the bonfires, the fireworks and dark nights, I feel the wonder of my own turning, my own wisdom, the acceptance that this, then, is how things are, and the knowledge that whatever it is, I will survive it.
And there will be another spring. There always is.

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