Posted on Apr 20, 2015 in Blog, book, homepage, launch | 0 comments


Its Monday night, 20th April, and my book launch is tomorrow. After a hectic few days last week, I’ve been away in Devon for the weekend, and any spare thinking time I’ve had has been devoted to worrying about my cat feeling abandoned and alone and deprived of cuddles. Consequently, I am feeling entirely under-prepared for the launch tomorrow, which is promising to be a big night – my mum is coming! My new work colleagues are coming! Old friends who have never seen me perform are coming! Boys I am currently flirting with will be there! All this, according to the faultless record-keeping of the Facebook event page. Well, at least I know who intends to be there.

My major preparation so far has been booking a hairdressing appointment. From this we can surmise I am efficiently vain.
Inefficiently however… I have failed to actually get my books here in time for the launch. Which is, I guess, a pretty major fuck up. I am happy to say however that the true fuck upper in this case is UPS, who thus far have been inept cunts in the extreme.

The books are here. They just can’t get them to me in time. This international courier company, who were due to have delivered said books last Friday, and did not get them here today because they couldn’t work out my correctly written, entirely unprovocative address – although addresses are the foundation of their business – now need 2 days notice to get the books all the way from Kent – to London.

This. A service I paid $100 for.
Inept. Cunts. As I said.

Anyway, by hook or by crook, magic carpet or train or a lift from cousin Stef, we will have poetry books at the ball tomorrow. How good my hair looks, we cannot yet say. One bunch of cunts’ ineptitude is another woman’s blog material. And so the circle goes.

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